My Black Garden.

Friday, September 30, 2005

i think running reallytakes away all your problem
maybe not forever
but at least it's a while
all my stress frustration anger gone
it really makes me feel better
i think i ever heard from this documentary
saying that if you exercise
your body creates this substance that will make you feel better
i really forgot what it is called
but it really made me feel better
cos i felt like shit just 4 hours ago
maybe almost the entire day
but after this run
all my problems and stress and frustration and anger
did not seem so bad after all
i actually felt better
what a miracle
i thnk GOD is so clever
he actually use this to make humans work out
haha
we can be healthy and less stress at the same time
and most of all less LAZY....

now i am almost done with one of my project
i still got three more
well i'm just waiting for the 6th oct to come
cos i know by then
everything will be over
all i have to do is just to study
for the final examination
and off i fly to australia
how cool is that?
my first flight
my first experience overseas
my first flight alone
my first luggage
my first passport clearance seal from the airport
and not JB....
my first domestic flight in australia
my first domestic flight in australia with wayne
everything here is going to be my first...
how cool is that?
i am just anticipating
i will wait patiently

if i realise no one is ever going to paint me a rainbow in the sky
i think will just have to do it myself.
i will
don't ever rely on others...never expect...

going going gone 11:59 PM;

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

so pretty pretty
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
me in the ugliest act ever... look at my tummy....ewww.w...

hahaa...slut

pretty pretty...marilyn monroe

going going gone 12:42 AM;

Sunday, September 25, 2005

i turned back and look at all the things i've done
wondering if any move i made was ever wrong so far...
mistakes that might change my whole life...
but i did not ever realised...
told myself to look ahead
not look back
but the temptations grew
i took a peek
tears down my cheek
hold them back i told myself
maybe what i learn from this
to make every decision wisely
every...and i mean every
because you can never turn the hand of the clock
to where it all begun

don't cry dear baby girl
remember someday someday
someday someone will paint you a rainbow in the sky

be strong
you must be strong
someday someone will paint you a rainbow in the sky.....
someday...
someone...

maybe turning back ain't that bad
learnt something new i must confess

hugs lil baby cillia...hugs...hugs....

going going gone 8:59 PM;

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

i think it's really time that i get out of my comfort zone...and tell myself thatin life you never always get what you want..and when things don't go the way you want..just live with it...and get use to it...don't complain and whine..cos it will basically get you nowhere in life....no where...complaining won't help...you just have to get use to it...or do something about it...and change it...maybe that's what i should do...some resolutions in life that i think i should make now...

1.less sensitivity 2.cry less 3.less expectations 4.don't make someone achieve that expectation for you 5.get use to being alone 6.work harder 7.stop complaining 8.stop whining 9.be satisfied with what you have 10.get use to the things you don't have 11.love yourself more 12.be pragmatic 13.independent

i think i need to fulfill all these resolutions.. i must ...there's nothing i can do ....if i don't .... i think i should be ready for the next chapter of my life....

going going gone 12:07 PM;

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

the week is getting worst for me.....bad to worst ....
i think it's easy to misunderstand the fact that i care for no one...except for myself..
well i can't even sit down to care for myself...even like painting my nails for example...
or go shopping....or even a cuppa tea...well i dun lead a life like others....
i'm really stressing the hell outta myself...no time ....no time... by the end of 6th oct...i have to hand in 6 PROJECTS in total!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm really going to have no life at all...i'm trying so hard to manage my life...but i think it's toppling soon...argh...
i really hope i can video my life...and perhaps my tots...and show it to those who can't understand...
well...i shouldn't bother anyway ...cos if they can't understand...and can't see that i'm actually struggling even to survive...then i think
there's no point explaining....well...maybe i should adopt the mindset "you shoudln't care about what people think"
i need to care about what is my priority now....that's School...and Paying off my loan...nothing else....those who falls along the way...just not the one
that's supposedly staying on with you till u grow old...

i'm so lacking and falling behind my spiritual life..."i'm thirsty LORD...yes i am... i need u to provide me with the strength to carry on...i need u to lift all those burdens off my back...
give me the positivity to life...."...

oh anyway this is the lil froggie blossom gave me...so cute....just brightens up my day...*smiles*

so cute right????huggies....makes my day...

going going gone 10:00 PM;

Monday, September 05, 2005

this week is really soo tiring for me...i had to work 4 days straight...i'm so burnt out man...
and just now, the moment i got home i concussed...haha...for the first time..cos usually i can ta-han...
i miss my smelly baby sooo much can...i hope time will pass faster...and november will be here soon...damn
irritating semester...cos i have to do like 4 modules,when my friends do only 3..so unfair...plus all these 4 modules are theory
based kinda paper...hai...i think this semester i have to pull up my socks...and work really reallly realllllly hard "balls"...*under the
extreme influences of WAYNE NERVA* hahaha

tml i'm still working...shit...and i got like a test to prepare...and a proj due on fri evening..wat an EXCITING week that's lying in front of me...
cillia..you can..you can...okok..=)))
hahaa....

shitty week....

going going gone 2:02 AM;

Thursday, September 01, 2005

sometimes i really wonder what is the real meaning to my existence
sometimes i really feel so lonely, altho there are people around me who care and loves me
i wonder is it me or the people around me?
i really wish i can be more non-chalant about everything around me
but i can't
i wish i could,cos everything will be so perfect.
my sensitivity is killing me
i wish that old happy go lucky cillia will come back soon...waiting for her to return...
i wanna be loved by everyone...what did i do wrong to make someone dislike me?
i dunno either...lost..

going going gone 3:18 PM;

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was a classic tale from the devious mind of children's writer Raoul Dahl. His character Willy Wonka was a curious creation indeed, a man devoted to making the most beloved confectionery of all, chocolate, but who had a sinister side that separated him from the rest of the world. The trippy technicolour adaptation of the early '70s has become a beloved cult classic for generations of anklebiters and acidheads alike.

In the story, Charlie is a pathetically poor boy living in a crumbling cottage in the shadow of a chocolate factory, getting by on nothing more than cabbage soup and his fantasy of one day visiting the citadel on the hill. His chance comes when he wins a golden ticket which gives him and only a handful of hopeful children entree into the wonderful world of Willy Wonka.

The child characters have become almost as famous as Wonka himself. Names like Veruca Salt and Augustus Gloop have become shorthand for infantile excess, be it horrid selfishness or unabated gluttony. The film is essentially a morality tale for young children as to the perils of poor behaviour, but for adults it's more, perhaps fiendish revenge on all the aggressively annoying children one is forced to endure because of lax parents who have become all too used to their antics.

Few directors are as adept at bringing this kind of macabre material to the screen as Tim Burton. Burton is at his best when given a tight narrative structure to work within, as with that other children's story turned upside down, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. This film benefits from a strict framework around which the director can weave his splendid vision. In Batman, Planet of the Apes and Mars Attacks he floundered, stumbling over his own visual invention to make far less satisfying experiences.

But this may well be his best and he owes a great deal to the contribution of his star and frequent muse Johnny Depp. Depp portrays Wonka as childlike himself and barely mature for all his brilliance. Much has been made of his similarity to another softly spoken, ashen-faced, long-haired recluse with a complicated relationship with children and his own childhood, but as yet Michael Jackson hasn't sued. In fact, the peculiar performance has more in common with another he made in a Tim Burton film, Ed Wood, with whom Wonka shares a wild-eyed wonder and indefatigable enthusiasm.

The whole film is incredibly well cast. The child actors are all uncannily close to type. Charlie's family is played by Australian Noah Taylor and Helena Bonham-Carter and some of England's most beloved older character actors. As for the infamous army of Oompah Loompahs, they are computer-generated to great effect from a single actor.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is, like its predecessors, an instant classic, a dark chocolate delight that manages to move you as easily as it disturbs.

By Kerry Bashford

going going gone 12:59 AM;