My Black Garden.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

going going gone 9:11 PM;

wat the fu**???!!!

we're supposed to look poor thing...and innocent..well we failed

what are you looking at Mich?

going going gone 8:11 PM;

Mich, Myself, Gerald and Claire having a good time...

Mich and Claire trying to finish their already "warm" beers

myself and WeiJie smiling to the camera

Camera WHores..!!

i am one camera Whore...heee

smile Gerald smile

going going gone 4:57 PM;

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

weary is how i feel...been feeling rather melancholic
thinking about alot of things...as random as they are seen here..

think sometimes i am really blind...blinded by a lot of things around me
i am observing, observing everything around me
i miss days when i do the things i love to
tossing and turning under the sun
playing beach volleyball with my mates
cooking a nice dinner for my loved ones
i am remorseful for the mistakes that i have done
i am changing myself into someone better
learning to be a lil more mature...more independent is what i aim for
wondering if i am really lovable
or just plain irritating
i wonder if there are people who totally hate me to the core
or people who loves me to bits..but refuses to tell me...
i wish i am a psychic
then perhaps i will know what is my next move
right move
wish i got the body of jennifer aniston
what will i be like in five years time?
will i find a job?
sigh*

going going gone 9:56 PM;

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

my new hair cut....finally...haha not much diff....eh..actually it's alot...just that this picture hides to many things...

claire and i after THE haircut...

today is a day filled with "speak of the devils"...shan't say who are they man...it's sooooo irritating...kinda affected me in a way...so many so many..and i met all these with my dearest Claire..hee..it's really scary...so a warning to people out there...don't talk behind people's back... you never noe when they might just appear in front of you...hee...

anyway after the haircut, Claire and i had noodle dinner at NOODLE HOUSE...so yummy la... me and me fave Ipoh Hor Fun...and we decided to be like the old uncles at the coffee shops...we decided to have beer at coffeeshop..haha it's fun laa.. we tried to look for the most discrete corner..and hope that we don't see familiar faces...and guess wat???after abt half and hour...we spotted Adrian...and he saw us DRINKING!!! haha bad move ....hahah...we got spotted doing the unglam thing....heee....

JooOO i finally had my beer at coffee shop already...hahha it's pretty fun ah...and most importantly....it's bloody cheap...one bottle 630ml for freaking $5.20...cannot take it man....hahahah

going going gone 10:43 PM;

Sunday, April 23, 2006

after a long day studying....people can get pretty insane...

erm....do u wanna be our friends???

let's all stick our tongue out!!!!

we aged.....after only 7hours....looks like i will be a happy granny and claire a sulk one....heee

a thai and a korean...

she looks like kristy...and me Kylie...

i'm J Lo....

I'm J LO again!

and now i'm maggie cheung look alike...

going going gone 1:11 PM;

been mugging at BEAUTY WORLD McDonald's today...the place where Gerald called it the most IN place...hhaa Claire and i laughed..and called it the TAKASHIMAYA in 1950's..well it's been a really enjoyable day..the saddest thing..is to see a friend cry...over something that i once teared about...sometimes i believe an outsider really can see the picture clearer..i was once like that...and i could never see the real reason...or even come up with any answers to my problems...and today i could actually tell my friend what's the real problem behind her shaky relationship...
feeling quite melancholic recently...maybe the reason is that reality is setting in...and i realise i am alone...no one is going to hug me again...no one is willing to listen to all my "rabbles" anymore..i guess i have to take a step back and enjoy singlehood for the first time..
well...maybe i must and should....

going going gone 12:51 AM;

Friday, April 21, 2006

i am totally in need of a new hairstyle...i getting so ooooo tired and sick of my current look.i need a change..a new me!i want be different...a less serious look..boohoo.. i am no longer attractive..lost that appeal...sad to say..but it's true...already proven...sob...so i need a mini extreme makeover..to start with this mini extreme makeover.. i need a new hairstyle...followed on by a new wardrobe...haha but that will only come in next month or sooo...okok

a list of hairstyle i can choose from my already short hair....

the suedehead

the miuki

basically ultra short hair...

anyway i guess you already what which hairstyle i will choose from right???haha.....

i came to a conclusion a moment ago...and i realise...it's always the guy making all the choice...girls can only wait and see...and when a girl takes the first approach.it will be wrong...and why is that so?i really don't know..kinda sicken by it...well...maybe that's life...guys can always persistent....but when girls are the one who are persistent....it seem like they are loose or desperate or something.....whatever....

going going gone 11:27 PM;

free and alone....

going going gone 11:02 PM;

today i made another mistake...another big mistake.. i promise i won't touch my phone again..i cannot make another stupid mistake again... i don't understand why am i so hopeless..my fingers are soo itchy....well...maybe that's cos i really wanted so much to be loved again perhaps..well maybe sometimes certain things can't be rushed....maybe what's meant to be is meant to be...looks is not everything...maybe i am just not the one...maybe i am far too sensitive...i am seriously...hoping for new love to come into my life.....i am seriously needing a companionship..so whoever is free ...do leave me a sms...i am bored ...sometimes my phone seems like it's not working at all....i really need someone to distract me...someone to get me off this boring routine that i have.... wakeup...school...study....home....sleep....what kinda life is that??i am seeking for new experience...i am looking for LIFE!!!!!!!i want to be asked to go out...where ever ...after i get home from school...i really want to just R&R...ask me to coffee also can...supper also can...not just to go home and rest .....boooohooooo.....so those who see this better do something....hahahah hahahaah =)))) think i gotta go back to studying.....a day of dissatisfaction.......

going going gone 10:41 PM;

errrr... i think i scared the hell outta him......

going going gone 1:10 AM;

it's examination period again!!!so fast ah...but i am quite glad that everything's coming to an end...especially the fact that i have to study and work at the same time..i am really tired and drained for the last three years... but i persisted...knowing that this day will eventually come!i hope that i can pass all the modules that i am doing this semester! i really do not want to repeat any modules ever again!OE was bad enough...and it made me waste $1200!!!which also burned a hole in my already emptied pocket....i am now waiting patiently for my growth dividend to come in!!!! heee.... i think i am so lucky... i think God has been working in my life...just that i did not take notice...he's always in a way helping me....indirectly.... =)))) take this growth dividend fund for eg. the moment i didn't had enuff to pay off my tuition fees...immediately...abt one week later...the govt mention abt the growth dividend thingy....i am soo so sooo lucky.....well...now i have to concentrate on my studies...

going going gone 12:18 AM;

i am totally baffled by whatever happened.is it me or is it me?did i made it too obvious?am i wrong to even make that first move?Geraldine told me," you're single now! do whatever that pleases you..whatever you did not get to do when you're attached.."hmmm..maybe i did the right thing?but what it seems to me today, seems like it's all a mistake!it turned out like what exactly i expected...maybe more disappointing than i expected...should i stop just here?should i make some more initiative moves?or should i just ignore everything and let nature take its own course now?am i ready to totally move on?

anyway someone is getting close to me...am i overly sensitive again?or am i basically not even taking it seriously?he is making many initiatives to ask me out...but i kinda turn him down most of the time...cos i am really busy...i am so so so scared...it's a past...he's a past...an object from the past coming back into my life again....

going going gone 12:05 AM;

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

the neo prints days!

going going gone 7:56 PM;

Monday, April 17, 2006

i am happy!

going going gone 9:52 PM;

Sunday, April 16, 2006

a miscom day....when joo and i din meet up...haiz...anyway ... i had a lil fun though..from the entertainment from these boys....boys...and i mean boys....hahaha =))))

that crazy irwin

our final stop....STARBUCKS

picture taken by the cute guy from Liat Towers STARBUCKS

my best guy bud

say cheeze! again for the cutie pie....

hmmm nothing better to do...model wannabe

going going gone 2:11 AM;

someone once told me that someday someone will paint me a rainbow in the sky
and i always thought the person existed
but once again the person will paint it but erase it halfway through it
perhaps the painting is not perfect enough
i did not ask for a masterpiece
just a "beautiful" rainbow in my eyes
nor did i ask for it to be perfect
i do not mind smudges, drippings, or anything flaws
nothing is perfect
i just wish for someone to paint me that rainbow in that sky
someone who will not quit
someone who will continue to paint it till it's "perfect"
perfection is just an ideology
an ideology designed by man
there are no boundaries
still waiting for that someone to paint me that beautiful rainbow

going going gone 1:18 AM;

Friday, April 14, 2006

maybe what everyone wants is just companionship...not a relationship when everyone gets hurt...a companionship means that you can always call up that person when you want to say something...even the least important things...the smallest things on earth...lonliness eats up the person...even the most happy person on earth...

why do people regret only when they lose it?why are human beings like this?this is a puzzling question that properly will never ever be answered...people should cherish the person they have around them...not only when they lose them...by then i think it will be too late...

my past relationships moulded me into someone i don't recognise anymore...i can't recognise myself in the mirror anymore...stranger...i want to find myself back...

i need someone to be my companion...someone who can make me laugh...someone who is a good listener...someone who hugs me when i am down...someone who does simple things to make me smile...

how do you tell one person that you like him?it became more difficult as one grows older...the pride...the ego...i just want to tell you...i don't want just supper...i want to know you more as a person...maybe the pride in me is too great...maybe you might think it's a rebound...but it's basically companionship i am looking for...not relationships...i am too hurt to step into another one...

will i ever find love again? *ponders*

going going gone 11:08 PM;

Thursday, April 06, 2006

going going gone 2:36 AM;