My Black Garden.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

u're a total asshole....
how can u make last minute changes?
and mind you that last minute changes means half an hour before meeting time!!!!!
you're so insensitive
can't you tell i'm human too
well at least you could tell me you're planning to go elsewhere
i would have not plan this at all
don't you feel a least bit guilty?
so a "sorry" and "i thought you..." is enough???
well so sorry it is not....

people these days are getting so insensitive...

going going gone 11:35 PM;

Thursday, May 25, 2006

everynight when the sky darkens i fear
i fear the darkness that seeps into my vision
it manipulates my mind and creates illusions
removes all the happy thoughts and makes the eyes well up
how evil this darkness that create melocholic thoughts
how hungry this darkness that consumes

the only light comes from the thing called the tv
it distracts me and keeps me company

going going gone 11:59 PM;

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I DON'T MISS YOU ANYMORE...

*living in self denial*

going going gone 9:36 PM;

been a rather tiring week for me ...
all started on Sunday when i had the hair show...was busy from 2pm all the way till abt 10pm...this hair show thing was pretty interesting..cos i finally got to down something really new and different...heee..kinda like a modelling thingy..i got to cat walk like those models.. i actually did my first cat walk in front of almost 60 plus people!!it was really nerve wrecking man...sooo nervous i felt like i was really stiff...cannot understand how those models feel everytime they do their show...anyway my hair is really short now...from the back i look like a boy!!! sob...during the show i got to know quite alot of people....and these two girls especially... Iris and Shirley ...and interesting enough Iris know my good friend/colleague Ashley...the world is soo small la....it just gets smaller..

shirley , iris and me at the Toni&Guy hair show

Monday started really early for me...like 6am!!!! and i haven't woke up at the time for a really really long time man....that day i had two interviews straight in a row...plus one is in the east and the other is in the west ...it's sooooo far really....and i'm right smack in the middle...anyway my interview on monday was rather successful.. i still got two more rounds to go and i will know whether i will get the job..it's soo scary...u really don't know what they are looking for...and i finally got to wear their uniform for the first time of my life!and fri i gotta go for the final...hopefully i will make it thru ...

tues... i went to work for the first time at RAOUL...really boring man...i really cannot stand that new full timer guy...he SUX!!!!!!!!luckily what made my day was the meeting with the trackie babies..min min and shishi...we had a great time...cos we had a mini dinner at crystal jade...i just love the porridge there...it's soo yummy.....and the dim sum..but tooo bad we din get to eat the dim sum....after that we roam around Orchard...and decided to go to somewhere to chill...we decided to go Acid bar..it's live band again...nice...and i met uncle Trevor there! it's wayne's uncle..a really nice guy...din had much to say to him too...just said hi and intro him to min min and shishi...well it's sooo coincidental la...=))) memories it brings....and i realise something...shishi min min and i did not take a grp picture evntually....sob..

well anyway and monday i am going for another interview at SUntec.....it's this company called Blue STeel something...hee forgot...good luck to me too ..it's a marcom position...dunno whether i can make it....=)))) hopefully i can...

going going gone 4:31 PM;

Saturday, May 20, 2006

going going gone 6:01 PM;

just watched 3 movies straight in a row with the babes...can u believe it??? ZOOLANDER, CRY_WOLF, and FUN WITH DICK & JANE..nice nice....anyway i got a very very bad hair cut...it's soo ugly... i'm losing all my confidence man...and anyway i got thru my 2nd round..going for my 3rd and 4th this coming monday ...with me good luck everyone...and i also got an interview this monday at ENERGIZER singapore as a temp marketing .. i think this is better than nothing...to gain experience..since a marketing job require experience...this will be a good chance for me to absorb as many things as possible...well hope all things turn out fine man..get a job at ENERGIZER while trying to go thru all the rounds at SQ...well i might not even consider SQ in the end if i get a better job offer...since what i want is a marketing career...something that gives me a job satisfaction and also self development...this is a good chance for me at marketing...today i got a strange sms from my class mate in marketing class...he said i helped him alot ever since he got to know me...and he thank me for helping..and hope he can return the favour one day ...hee...well it was indeed strange ..but it did warm my heart a lil...like someone really understand how much u have put into...

anyway i kinda broke all kinda communication linkages with him...i told him to block me from msn...so that i won't get to see him and thus will not think of him...and he did it...i noe he thinks i am silly...well..i beg to differ...cos i feel that one year of relationship is not easy to forget ...maybe it's easy for him to ...so easy that he told me he didn't love me just overnight...i hope i will forget him one day...

going going gone 1:37 AM;

Sunday, May 14, 2006

i finally ended the ten days turmoil...heee..
can u actually believe it?i worked ten days straight..no offdays...
well...it was tiring...but i managed to survive...
and the grand finale was a nights out at KTV with my dear friend claudia...
it was such an impromtu decision..was just suppose to have only a dinner...ended up going to a KTV at Chinatown...super cheap place...only TEN BUCKS!!!!!!!! cannot believe it..and well i always make sure my rewards are value for money ...heee.. i sang alot of songs man...well my grabbing the microphone stunts are perfected again...

the ride to chinatown with Claudia and Gavin

my dear friend

at Suntec with them

the new B**** guy i met...heee

and guess wat?? i got a bad sore eye...so red...first time i got a sore eye....cannot believe it man...so painful...and it must be this week...boohooo....and TUESDAY is my important day...i cannot screw it up.. i think i am quite sure that i want that job...hope i get it den...it will be an eye opening experience for me....well for this important day i decided to do a manicure...so that i can appear more prim and proper....heee....

nice???well i spend more than wat i wanted to spend on these little chillis....haaa....
and tml,there will be two interviews ...one is graded by the sch...one is that stupid firm that totally forgot abt my interview....stupid....well i shall try again...waste my time....and from MONDAY ---WEDNESDAY i will be going for a class chalet ....so fun!!!!!!!!i haven't been to chalet that is organised by my close friends for a really long time...soo fun...gonna have a smashing good time man!!!!!!

going going gone 8:46 PM;

Friday, May 12, 2006

i totally screw things up...well probably by losing my pride all over again... i msg him and told him i misses him...and usual...he din reply...nv...he is nv going to be in my life again...tears rolling down my cheeks...he said he is going to be mean to me...if i continue this...why is it like that?it's not like i want him back..i just want my feelings to be known...cos if anything happens to me.. i'm afraid i will regret not saying it...well...maybe i made the wrong move...perhaps there's no need int he first place even to let him noe how i feel abt him...i think we will nv be "friends" again...there will nv be crappy talks...nv...nv be anything...i'm so hurt...i dun understand why i can't just let him vanish from my life....

going going gone 10:48 PM;

Monday, May 08, 2006

when the past come flooding your mind
all i want to do is forget
how can i when all things are so near yet so far
all i can do now is just to force
self discipline is really important now
shedding tears
heart aching
smiles disappearing
i feel so terrible now
i wish i can just remove the memories i once had with him
so that i will not be sad anymore

what if one day you see him walking down the street with someone else
what will you do?
it's really a pathetic sight when you realise that the person is not you...
why isn't it me?
what can i do in the past to rectify it?
just like the movie sliding doors... somethings just cannot be changed...
want to get out of this shadow as soon as possible and move on....
move on...*as tears stream down my face*

going going gone 12:21 AM;