My Black Garden.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

yestday i had a early christmas gathering at weijie's place with the rest of the SIM gang..so fun...roast chicken, bakkuteh, prawns, log cake and wine...heh...

maybe Christmas isn't the season i love afterall..i am always alone on Christmas...Christmas is a season of love, family and friends...but...i think all these three ain't that visible in my life i suppose...i'm always left out...there are always more impt people out there than me...people will just dump me for their "more" loved ones...i don't understand why they are so good at it...don't they know how it feels like to be left out...how can they just neglect my feelings just like that...well...what goes around comes around i guess...every year i anticipate christmas sooo much...and every year i get disaapointed all over again....and i still anticipate it...i still yearn for a nice cosy christmas with companionship of all those i love...it will come one day...hopefully...

Santa give me what i want for Christmas this year please??i've been a good girl all year...

christmas will be lonely without you.....

going going gone 3:19 PM;

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

back from Adelaide..a not very interesting place...but what's good is that i kinda know how to walk around in the city area!wheee...hehh...it's just a straight route btw....hahaa..my hotel faces a very nice cathedral..really pretty and ancient looking one..and most importantly i finally got a Supre top i've been wanting to buy since my last Sydney flight...heh...been thinking abt something the whole time when i am Adelaide...that i really should not get a fuck abt it anymore...if it comes it will...if it doesn't ..even if i force and burge my way thru...it will never happen...sighh...this is such a pessimistic viewpoint ey...well...sometimes it's just like that i guess...

going going gone 8:14 PM;

Sunday, December 17, 2006

that question you asked made me feel so uneasy...i felt so uncomfortable...i thought that was not the most important thing...but it seems like to you...now i am so hesitant about staying on...i feel this big gap between us right now...it seems to be widening...it totally caught me off guard...i never expected something like that will come of you...but it did....i am so afraid now...both losing you...and also having you around... i do not know how to face you....i am so ashamed....but it's not like i did something wrong...but by not knowing myself well enough...makes me feel uneasy hanging out with you...cos THAT seem soooo important to you...i just have to search myself first....i miss u already....

going going gone 2:05 AM;

Friday, December 15, 2006

last week was a really busy one for me...did my flight to Tokyo and L.A. i shopped so much i think i am going to survive on water and bread soon.....haahha...well cos L.A. have alot of brands i like and apparently they don't have them in Singapore...like Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria Secrets, Hollister...etc...and their Forever 21 there is so much cheaper than in Singapore and the range is wider....so that means i did not sight see at all...there wasn't much pictures taken...as u can see from the prev post...i did not goto Universal studio...hope i will get to go there the next time in Jan...yup...i am going to L.A. again this coming Jan...it's quite boring actually if u don't like shopping...but oh welll....I LOVE SHOPPING....hahaha....

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going going gone 5:36 PM;

Thursday, December 14, 2006

going going gone 4:13 PM;

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

been an emotional roller coaster ride...i think although i always say i hate it and stuff like that... but i think subtlely i am constantly putting myself in a situation where i am always on the losing end..emotional baggages that constantly weighs down my shoulder...i am a very decisive person...so once my mind is kinda made up at that point in time.. i do not give a hoot abt anything that might happen after that...and this only saddens me later...well i just have to live with the decisions i make in life..

going going gone 12:08 AM;