My Black Garden.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

going going gone 12:43 PM;

it has been a long and winding journey for me
think it is time for me to change this path i have been taking
i have not found anything good enough on this road
or maybe i am not good enough to travel on this road
wished i was someone
someone who is loved someone who is needed
my life is so complicated and yet at the same time simple
i do not know where i am heading to right now
i sit and look at the world pass me by
they are beautiful
but when i try be like them
i fail, over and over again
i can never be like them....never....why?
i wish i have a normal and simple life like others.

going going gone 11:21 AM;

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

OUR MANICURE SESSION TOGETHER FINALLY!!!!!!!

going going gone 12:28 PM;

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

today i went to the Salvador Dali art exhibition at the Opera Gallery at Ngee Ann City...i managed to pull geraldine to go with me...i wanted to go so badly after seeing the announcement on tv...i was sooooo excited...i know i will go there alone..even if no one is going with me...cos i know..a good artist work is really not to be missed...esp Dali's...not everyone enjoys going to art exhibitions...my future partner must be appreciate artwork as well...they may not need to know everything...but the ability to appreciate will be good enough...Salvador Dali is one of the greatest Surrealist artist around..i admire his subconscious kinda artwork...that dreamy and the things that may seem unreal kinda artwork...impressive...even his little sketches were goodd....let me show u some of his good works...

The Persistence of Memory

The Metamophosis of Narsissus

impressive ehhh...

i wonder how our paths cross?why did it even crossed in the first place?was it all planned?what you told me...was it just to humour me?i'm beginning to sink deeper and deeper with each encounter..i am trying to tell myself that it's all a facade...it will never ever happen between us...but is it true?are u just that passing rainbow?that moment of happiness?i love your existence..ur presence...do u even care?maybe not...i am telling myself to be stronger...hold on tight...cos this ride is going to be real bumpy...why did i even get onto this journey?knowing that at the end of this..i will not gain anything...for that one moment of happiness i am willing sacrifice that lifetime of happiness?i do not understand why everything is still the same..after two weeks ...we decided we should end it all...but we did not...and this time round it is more intense than before...subtle yet intense... i miss you....

going going gone 11:03 PM;

HEYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm finally back from Narita...only one day...hahaaa...well it was a pretty good trip i thought it would have been worst...but things turned out pretty alright...besides the fact that i almost landed the passenger bag on their heads..and also reclined a passenger seat without finding out what is the passenger behind doing...thank God everything was pretty fine...hahaa...*damn the fact that i am so short* now i realise that turbulence on board is a very common thing...the both flights i had...both had turbulence that left me almost shaken...i could not walk properly without holding onto the passenger seats...heh...and i think i need to lose some weight la...cos when i was sitting in front of the passenger during taking off and landing...all my fats bulging out in the ugly folds on my kebaya la....sighhh....but i think i will lose weight evetualllyyy cos there's no time to eat on board at all..u're just basically rushing thruout the whole flight..and like wat my instructor said..."u're like walking to ur destination"... i think it's more true than truth...anyway japan is such a beautiful country...i love the architectural structure over there...it's just soo nice...glad that i will get to have more chances to explore that country...and i love their TECHNOLOGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY their VENDING MACHINES!!!!!! i totally totally dig those VENDING MACHINES....

exploration No. 1: Chain of VENDING MACHINES
you dunno how excited i get when i saw these vending machines.....oh my....my HEAVEN!!!!!

jasmine and i on the shuttle bus to Narita City early in the morning...cos we wanted to take the opportunities to walk around the place....and explore.....
exploration No. 2: Pager
this is what you get when u order food from a food court...they will pass u this pager...so that when the food is ready...they will give u a beep...this is sooo damn cool la.....and there i was luffing at a corner...cos i was totally amused.....esp when every other pagers start beeping...hahhaa and it seem like such a normal thing..

exploration No. 3 : SLICING EEL on the STreet
impressive skills....but the poor eels...unagi....oh my....a very depressing sight actually....

anyway there are more pictures and explorations...but i will have to bug jasmine to pass them to me...hopefully i can get them soon...heh.....

going going gone 11:49 AM;

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

just another two more days and i am off to Tokyo..the anticipation is killing me.. i really wonder how is it like in japan..hmmm..i must really travel down to Tokyo itself...and visit the places...heh...and take lotsa pics...and i recently realised how fortunate those first class passengers are...cos...they get lotsa leg space...and personal space....look at these....
look at how satisfied i am....

this is what i call leg space...altho i am vertically challenged...but i do deserve some decent leg room....

that's what i call personal space....taking tons of pictures...and no one bother what the heck u're doing...heh

after much consideration i decided to be the captain instead...hhaaaa....more cool...can wear the aviator sunglasses...and go on auto-pilot....hahah wat a life.....

don't i just look so good in that aviator sunglasses and my fave green teee????hahaha... i am sooo BHB....heh

last week was a bad week...and luckily this week started out quite fine for me..maybe cosi took the whole week end to cool off from whateevr i need to cool off from...and i am glad i kinda became happier...i came to alot of conclusions..which made me take things in life with a pinch of salt...i am in no hurry for anything now.. i will face whateva that comes along my way...i got a job to keep me busy...and tons of friends that are sooo entertaining...i love you people...=))) without all of u guys.. i dunno how i can ever survive all these...*hugs*i promise wonderful christmas gifts for u guys...heh....=)))))

going going gone 7:24 PM;

Saturday, September 16, 2006

been a really busy and tiring week for me..and i'm glad it's finally over.. but i think it will be worst next week...cos i will be preparing for the Supernumerary flights that going to be on on next saturday...i am very afraid of making mistakes on flight..like for example giving wrong information and etc...

this week is probably one of the most melancholic week for me..i don't feel good at all.. emotional, physically, and mentally...i feel so stressed out..i feel i am not appreciated in anyway... i feel that my efforts are not paid off.. i feel inadequate..i feel like i haven't achieved much... i hope next week will be a better week for me...altho i know the going is going to get tough i wish i will be tougher to handle these SHIT that are probably going to come my way next week onwards...

regarding me feeling emotionally down.. i am actually very jaded about certain things in life...both in my family and socially...it has been affecting me all week..i wish i can just sleep it off..sighh..if only things were so simple...

sometimes people are just so fickle..and their fickle-ness inflict onto others and they don't even realise it themselves..but thinking about it.. i think i am actually very brave..cos i was able to confront the situation and speak to HIM in a very adult manner...at least things are solved..not complicated...maybe not SOLVED...but more like it's less complicated...like what HE said..."SIMPLE FRIENDSHIP"...well i felt so shitty after a few days later...cos den i realised how much i was led on during the one month...and to think all HE said was.."i take on full responsibility for what i said"..what responsibilities are u willing to take?...i think age do not gauge how mature one is..being able to know what one is doing and why are they doing it measures one person's maturity level...

anyway i was reading up on JUICE mag this month..they have this news flash on whose Converse Shoe is the diritiest..haha... so i sent in mine...it's so disgusting can...hahaa....look...

disgusting eh...i betta win that...haha so i can get a new pair of Converse shoes..i want to have a high cut Converse Shoe...it's so nice...i always have reservation about high cut converse..cos i am short... but i think i have to take away the mentality and try to be able to pull off "tall" stuff and make them look nice on me...heh....

going going gone 12:07 AM;

Monday, September 11, 2006

i am so glad i finished my module in safety and emergency procedures..now i'm in first aid class...learning how to do CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation)..scary.. i cannot imagine doing it on a real person...now i'm just trying it out on dummies...imagine accidentally breaking people's rib cage just cos u wanted to help...

anyway i am going to fly to Narita and Sydney this end month... 23th and 27th of september...wish me good luck yea...cos i am so afraid of making BIG BOOs BOOs onboard..and i got my next two destination and they are to Nagoya and Bombay...quite cool eh.. i wanna go to Bombay and look for cool lanterns that i once saw at someone else's place...i want to decorate my room!!!so fun...heh....i better pass all my tests first before getting all excited...heh...
anyway i am sooo glad i am in the same team as my classmate jasmine.. i finally don't exactly have to be alone yeah!!!! at least i can bunk in with her...yea...flying ain't as bad as i thought...heh....

heh...anyway i think i sort out certain things..which i kinda misunderstood..yup...which i am really glad...thanks for replying to my msg yea..(u noe who u are, if ya reading this...)

anyway i met up with my long time friend Don today...so nice...he's finally back in Singapore for good...another good chilling out buddy..heh...and someone to hear me rattle on and on and on and on.....heh...glad i have someone like him...someone whom i am a friend to since i was 15...ahhaa...7 years man...can u actually believe it...

going going gone 11:17 PM;

it's over... i need to get back on track...
there's no such thing as a never ending feast (chinese saying)
so i need to get back on track to get my life moving again...
how fast everything faded
well..maybe i did not try hard to keep it in position
maybe i'm not the one who's controlling everything
well oh welll.....

going going gone 1:19 AM;

Friday, September 08, 2006

everything is falling out of place
suddenly everything seem so unfamiliar to me
i feel so out of place
i should regain my poise and stay compose
being mentally prepared for all things is good
but sometimes somethings just hit you so hard at times
you can hardly remain standing
i always keep this thought in my head
"if it doesn't kill you, it just makes you a stronger person"
i think this is what that really keeps me alive till now
and lately things just didn't go very right for me
i kept making mistakes
i kept getting myself into screwed up situations
i need to work out a good plan to stop screwing up....

going going gone 9:14 PM;

a series of pictures taken at the Botanic Garden last sunday..it's such a nice family gathering...my grandmother (looks young eh), my two cousins (Joyee and Yolanda),my aunt, and my parents...=))))

as i was walking in Botanic Garden,i saw a man walking two beautiful creatures..can't help but stop and said hi to them..

sooo pretty.....they are sisters...that's what the owner said...tot they were grey hounds...but they are not....i forgot the breed...but beautiful creatures yea....

going going gone 12:15 AM;

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

happiest moments in my life....

going going gone 9:02 PM;

Sunday, September 03, 2006

my graduation!!!!!i finally graduated...heh....anyway taken all these pics at Esplanade...the one i blogged abt yest ....

anyway today i went to the Botanical Garden to take more pictures with my family...heh hope they turn out great....it was pretty horrible actually ..cos it was a really hot day ....i was perspiring like crazy....the only comforting thing was tat i met up with yolanda...and i spoke to ther thruout the whole photo shoot...and after that i met up with jamie and his friend alvin for dinner...we went to Villa Bali...it was nice...could have been nicer though...sigh...anyway .... i had a lot more in mind than that....i felt everything was stifled ...meaning that there's a lot of room for improvement....but everything is in a stand-stilll....well i shld not rush anything....and see how it goes....=))))

going going gone 10:10 PM;

Saturday, September 02, 2006

i finallly graduated!i am so happy...i had my convocation yest..at first i thought i could not go cos my instructors told me that if i go ahead with my own plans and take a leave..i will have to join another class and i will have to retake the whole safety emergency module..sigh..but with the help of josh, i was able to go...he was so sweet, he helped me to speak to my instructor again..=)
i own him a big big favour man...

after the convocation i went to Villa Bali with my SIM friends...so nice...just chilling out...nice...after that all of us went to Zouk..it was pretty fun...but after that i met some friends from NEXT...they started down-ing me with liquor..neat....sick man...the thought of it is quite sick...anyway after that i was gone...wat a night...i actually had something else in mind after zouk...but...sigh....

anyway just now i went to Esplanade with Claire Gerald and Geraldine to take pictures with our regalia...so funny...we told ourselves that we will have to act like as if we're all alone...haha...cos we were all so embarassed standing in Esplanade with the head gear and the robe and all...hahah so weird...but we all managed to breeze thru everything..took alot of pictures...and had dinner at Thai Express..heh...

i realise that sometimes there's no need to play mind games...it's just so tiring...and i came to a conclusion that people have a very negative impression of me...i dunno wat i said or do that make them come to a conclusion that i'm that kinda girl or person..it gets really upsetting at times..because i truly believe that such judgement came from the fact that there's the lack of understanding...i am coming to believe that no one actually know me very well...or basically no one wants to truly understand me deep enough...

========================================
thoughts
========================================

a moment ago..i just realised that i've been a real fool...i shld really learn from past experiences...and i think i never learn...i think i really need to carry a past experiences manual to everywhere i go to ...at least i can refer to it when i encounter funny incidences..

i seriously doubt people's sincerity at times..they can look u in the eye and tell u something nice...but you always wonder...are they acting?is it true?are they just making u feel good?but if u question..u will appear doubtful and rude...hmm....but i still stand by my point..and i believe that there are people out there who are just super insincere...what they say and what they do just not in-sync....

..and i wonder why certain things happen...do u always need an intention to do something?at least a motive?...i don't think so...but i do believe some people have them...that's why i become why "constipated" when i do certain things..i hold onto myself...but sometimes only when u hold onto urself, then u will see what will happen without interventions from urself...but if u don't do anything...nothing will happen...soo....shld we hold back and wait....or shld we do wateva we feel like doing without any second thoughts?i got sooo many thoughts running through my head right now... i wanna make things happen...i want things to be clearer...but i know that things do not always happen to ones liking...just live with it lor....sigh....

going going gone 10:36 PM;