Tuesday, July 25, 2006
i feel a sense of void creeping into me...
the emptiness is so overwhelming...
i feel helpless
soon i will be engulf into deep hole...and no one can save me....
Monday, July 24, 2006
i went to watch Caberet today and it was not too bad...well.. below my expectations though...apart from the fact that Fei Siang's voice was a little soft and the plot was not impactful enough..it was all good! but i thought the best was Emma Yong..she's one of the best performer around...i remember her in Dim Sum Dollies, and she's still great!amasing!wonderful!and she looks really good with all the make up and stuff...
Feisiang and Emma Yong in Cabaret
i love going for muscials and plays...but it's expensive so i have to be really selective, the next one up shld be "Forbidden City" i think...that's what Claire brought up..i hope i will get the tickets la..
anyway had a really good time chillinh out with my dear friend claire...she's a shopaholic la...got so many polka-dotted stuff...hee...hilarious la...imagine from top to bottom and to shoes...hahaa...reminds me of the song..."she wore and itsy bitsy tini winny small and yellow polka dot bikini..." lalala...and it brings me to another song i kept repeating to Claire the whole day..."you're my lucky star!!.! you're my lucky star!!" (for this song..you need to sing it in a very outta pitch kinda way...)
this month i am ultimate broke man...i overspent and...stupid STC decided not to pay us till next month...sob..sob....i really have to drink plain water and eat fresh air for the next month...poor me..well time to lose some weight den...hee...great plan cillia...
*i got something that's on my mind and i want to find out...if someone keeps asking u out...but don't hint anything..or probably clever enough to hide all kinds of details to show u he have interest..does it mean he is not interested?or just testing water?hmmm...well...it's really an irritating situation la...grr...ignore cillia..just ignore ....*
Saturday, July 22, 2006
been out all day at the beach...with all my batch mates from STC...played volleyball and swam in the sea...it was pretty fun...well..more than what i expected...and i finally went to the Muscial Fountain..it's pretty cool...the visuals were fantastic!at first i thought it was really cheesy...but when i finally see it for myself... i am shocked at how good it is!it was tiring though..cos last night i was out as usual..met up with Ralph, cos my friends were going to meet me much later, so i "bribed" him to join me ...i went to Ice Cold Beer with him...it was great having a ice cold Hoegarden after a long week at work...after that i met up with my JC mates for dinner...then to Paulaner Brauhaus to have a couple of drinks with my uni friends...soo packed right?haha but tonight i totally got no programme after beach la.....sooo boring... i feel that i wasted my weekend (saturday)..but at least i did work out ..cos i played volleyball for quite sometime.. i really need to sweat it out...i am soo flabby la...cannot take it...
anyway yesterday was the first time i encountered someone i don't know offering to buy me a drink.. i thought it was soo exciting la...amazingly after that i went up to these group of guys to say hi...well i thought it was only polite to do so...but i think i did that cos i was a lil tipsy...if not i think i wouldn't have even accepted the drink in the first place...in the end i felt i had too much ..the moment i got home i stepped into lala land...till 6am...
i succeeded in making egg mayo..it was pretty good.. i was quite amazed...made a huge portion for my batch mates...and they kinda enjoyed it.. i felt good about myself...
some funny incidents happened at the beach today...and it's making me really confused...i think i better stop thinking about it...it's bad....
everything you do
everything you say
every lil details
i took into consideration
but what do you really want?
what do i really want?
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
here are some pictures taken over the past few weeks...
Pirates of the carribean was great!fantastic! i tot the character Jack Sparrow (johnny Depp) was great! especially the way he runs for his life when the bush men were running after him..funny...
been a hellava long long week for me...but i think i really learn a lot...met a lot of news friends/ colleagues..hope this coming four months will not be bad for me..i want to enjoy myself before i see the REAL world...i wish i won't get bullied...cos i noe i will face that kinda shit...
yesterday i went to Party World KTV with my uni friends..it was really fun...had super madness time with them...we sang our hearts out... till i almost lost my voice...kaiting and gerald was like dancing so mambo dance steps with a new pop song...it was hilarious...i think we're so blessed to be born in the 80's... think this is the best time...cos we can really see the drastic trends...and all was shocked to hear me singing to old pop songs...well it only goes to show i haven't been to KTVs for a long long long time... i am not updated with all the new chinese songs...and plus i dun listen to chinese songs...but it was fun.. i always have fun hanging out with them..they bring joy to my life...i love them to bits...
Thursday, July 13, 2006
my mummy is finally one year older!she's 45...but she definitely looks younger than her age.. i really enjoy celebrating every birthday with my family members... i noe sometimes we have minor disagreements with each other and stuf...but when our birthdays come..we'll definitely gather for a nice dinner...and a birthday cake...and without fail....there will always be a CAKE.... well this year is no exception...i got my mummy a nice nice chocolate cake with a waffle at the bottom...yummyyy.....
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
my life is getting monotonous on weekdays...and only slightly more happening on fridays..i think i am really getting into the momentum of a working adult...waking up really early everyday ...sleeping before 12am everynight...cos if i don't... i will become a zombie the next morning...yea...life's boring...but i think when i start flying i will really have no time to meet up with my friends...and that's really sad...and i won't get any leave till probably next year MAY..my life's pathetic...
i really need to go on a healthier diet soon.. i put on 1.5KG in abt less than a month..gosh... i don't know what shit i have been eating...no more rice...no more carbo...
let's talk about other stuff...the weight issue is making me feel miserable...
anyway recently i know this friend...and he is married..well.. and worst... i found out that his wife is pregnant and is going to give birth in less than a month time...and he asked me out for a dinner...i feel that it is soooo wrong..call me a conservative shit...okok... i am ASIAN+chinese... i am slightly more conservative..yea...i feel that if i am the wife of this guy.. i will feel so horrible even if he is not interested in this lil girl...cos he rather go out than to spend time with her at home...and nurse that growing foetus...erm baby...in the stomach...well i don't think i want to go out with him..cos i don't wish for any problems...too many problems on my own...maybe when i have a less conservative mindset... i might agree....meanwhile i don't think so...
i have been neglected and left out...it feels bad...cos u think u are special..but when u're not invited...the feeling sux...cos what you think is not what exactly true...and i don't understand why...i've been nice...i've been compromising...well...maybe that's not enuff....anyway i wil just concentrate on this new job..and stop worrying...about all these trivia stuff...if it's meant to be this way ...it will eventually happen one day...
missing you still...how do i forget you?
To: Passerby
the answer to ur queries...well basically how i got this job ...i went for the walk in interview at suntec convention centre...hmm they usually advertise on the saturday newspaper the week before the hold such interviews...and SIA just held on recently at the old westin hotel ...Swissotel...yup yup ...one of the ballroom i think...yup ..
as for the requirements of a cabin crew... hmmm probably an extroverted personality...willingness to serve...humility....hmmm min 5 'O' Level credits...yea...most importantly 158cm and above...yea...and the individual need to have a proportionate physique..yea.. and for girls it will be 22 or below for their BMI (body mass index)..yep...that's abt it...well during the interview... it's very subjective...esp during the first interview...they are also looking for people who can portray themselves well...this is because when u become a cabin crew...you're a front line staff..and u're probably the first person the passenger meets and encounter...and will leave an impression on them...so it got to be good...if ya planning to go for the interview....be neatly groomed..
that's about it passerby...
Monday, July 10, 2006
hmmm it was actually more boring than interesting...well i started the day much to early than everyone out there...5:30am... the god forsaken hour...well i managed to survive the lone long longgg dry class....
somethings i learnt today....
is it you?is it you now knocking on my door?
or am i too sensitive?
what shall i do?
shall i wait behind the door ?
shall i open the door?
or shall i just ignore...
Sunday, July 09, 2006
friday night at after dinner with claudia...we went to Balaclava..here the start of the phototaking madesss....!!!
i typed this at 5:30am....
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This is a very scary dream. Guess what it is 5.30am in the morning now. I don’t know why but I feel I must pen down this dream before it gets blurred. It all started off with me working in this hawker-like area. And there are quite a handful of people whom I know are in this dream as well; my auntie, my uncle, this new colleague of mine, and a ex class mate from SIM.
Well, I was at this hawker place waiting to finish work…and while I was waiting I went to buy vegetable (French bean) from a supermarket or something like that. And after buying my vegetable I went to cut it into pieces. And head for the hawker centre. And I went to this store to ask them to store the vegetable for me. And my ex colleague works in that store. I don’t know.. In the dream. I kept looking out for him.
And while I was waiting to go home. I met my auncle. He works there too. Suddenly my auntie appeared, she spoke to my uncle sayignt hat she must look around the place and she left. My uncle turned around and told me that she need to ind out what they sell in this place, so that he can help her buy things the next day, cos my auntiew ill be working and she won’t be able to buy the stuff.
After that I walked tot the bus stop with my uncle, and waited for the bus to come. After a while the bus came, as we boarded the bus there are some people that hogged the entrance of the bus. And I got frustrated when I got up. So as I entered the bus I wanted to find a seat. The front seats are all taken. So I moved to the moved seats and behind the back door of the bus, the first row of double seats wasn’t taken, but there was a seat cushion on it, so I decided to give it a miss and sat on the seat behind it. But there was already a passenger taking a seat on it. So I just shared the seat with the person.
The bus moved, and I was stoning for a while… suddenly I realized the guy next to me is obviously staring at me..so I turned my head and gave him a fierce stare. And guess what for a moment I thought he was going to turn back. But instead he look hard into me and held on tightly to my chest and he kept rubbing me and he grabbed my shirt and wouldn’t let go. I struggled and screamed, but he was too strong for me. So I looked around me to seek for help, but no one bothered about me although they heard me scream. And I turned to the back seats. There seated was my ex classmate from SIM, he was sitting there and he seem like he wanted to help but he can’t. and he told me he wanted to kill this bastard too. And I kept screaming and ask him to help me. But he refused, cos this is his brother. And he just sat there looking helplessly at me being molested. And I kept hearing that guy saying, “just one time, just one time…”
This is soo freaky, I was soo scared, I actually screamed in the sleep. And I woke myself up. This is the second time in my life that I was woken up by my own scream.
Friday, July 07, 2006
i thought this postcard is soo hilarious...so cheeky and witty at the same time...
it's another boring afternoon lazing at home in front of the computer..want to liek go to the beach or something with my friends...but all of them are working already... no one is fre on weekdaays...only after 6pm...yea...life's like that i suppose....anyway time for me to lose some pounds...had my uniform fitting earlier today ...and i think i must lose some pounds to look better ...*so bimbotic*
praying and wishing that everything will move faster.. i feel so stagnated now...
anyway ive been talking to my friends...and this issue about family background occur:
Rich Girlfriend Vs Poor Boyfriend
i kinda thing this shouldn't be an issue if the two know how to compromise...well the idea of one not experiencing being poor is not an issue too ...as long as one is willing to work hard and strive for the best for oneself...well i believe to a certain extend...in a relationship...the couples are still an individual by themselves....so i think even if one doesn't earn as much as the other...it is not important as long as both dun over-spend...both can still lead a pretty good life...not poor definitely...and money shouldn't be a issue...unless one is poor till no money to eat la...hahaaa....that's quite pathetic...which is not very possible in a society like singapore....
hope this evening i will have some fun...hopefully the SIM bunch will decide to go to somewhere fun...hee......yea...ciaos...
Thursday, July 06, 2006
myself, claire, kaiting, geraldine and bryan
this picture has nothing to do with what i am typing....bascially this picture is taken sometime back during a birthday lunch for kaiting..well i like it alot...hahaa cos it shows my clevage...hahaha...cos i hardly have any...well i had a boring afternoon...well i hate not being able to work.. i am sad that i was not even given 7 days to say my last goodbyes to people in BlueScope Lysaght..well...my fault..but what to do ..when u want something else better for you ..you have to be strong and give up one option...
i miss the mornings when i drag myself out of bed to go to work and taking the morning shuttle bus to work...then switching on my lap top to work on the daily news..
anyway Monday 10th July is going to start something new...going to meet new people...going to have classmates again..but this time round i get paid...hahaha...learn new things...wow...amazing...this is sooo exciting...my new phase of life.. i am going to work real hard to show that i am capable....
and if u realise something..i just revamped my blog...finallllyyy..y.. lalaa alalala
i just read someone's blog..and she officially pronouced themselves BF & GF for 6 months...wow...hahaa..welll there's more to come...i believe that true love rarely exist...maybe it nv exist...dunno la...there are soo many times in a relationship when i tot the person is the one....really the one...but once again they fail me by not wanting to stay on when the going gets tough...well maybe i haven't really found that person who is willing to share all the problems and overcoming all the obstacles with me yet...searching...but well maybe i shouldn't..the more i search...the more i won't get to find one... STOP lookinggg...hahhaaa....
i have the need to feel wanted
only you can give me this feeling
but when things are over it can never be the same again
you threw me away saying " i don't need this now"
perhaps you have grown out of it
the toy that you once wanted so much
but when it becomes a burden
you decides to put it behind
maybe committment is all i want
sincerity is all i am looking for
faith is what i should be getting from a relationship
the faith to believe that i can do anything
the faith to believe there's always worth a second chance
physical attributes are merely superficial
my path is leading me to somewhere
a place where i will be stronger
force to be even stronger than now
so as to survive in this cruel world
just longing for something
that warmth
that love
that something....
missing....
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just last saturday i did ushering with this event's company called LEGACY for the "CAAS 25th Anniversary dinner"...well it was a great experience..and for the first time i met MM Lee K Y..wow...well..not upfront...well at least i saw him liek 10 metres away from me....near ok...well i met a guy during the whole thing...he came up to talk to me...well i was like totally stunned...haa..he's pretty cute...well...and nice in all the suit and stuff...after talking he asked me got my name card...shit..din had one...and guess wat... i din ask him for one as well....i am soo blur...well...not fated i supposed...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
the secondary school gang
(altho a whole chunk of them are not taken...the photographer suckxx...)
myself sheena and yolanda having a good time ....actually only queueing to pay
claudia, kaisiang and myself...the babes and the geek...heee
the prankster girls from huayi hahhaaa (look how much we've grown...)
pictures taken over the past weeks and months...well i got alot more to share actually but sometimes it's just soo difficult to upload the picstures....for eg the prev post with 3 pics.. i took like almost and hour plus just to upload....well...so i gave up..that's why there's only three....or else there will be more...anyway i'm RETRENCED! hahaha *joking*
i decided to fly instead...doing something diff in my life...nv really travelled...well may be i shld take this chance to do something that i wil not have done with a rational mind...heee...anyway i just pop by that dawn's blog...hmm she is really pretty ..nice round eyes...and small lips...like cartoon man...serious...and she got like brown eyes...i think it's contacts...but nice....very sharp nose too...welll heee..
ok i shall try uploading some more pics... i shall try using the photoshop i got ....heee...
Sunday, July 02, 2006
if you think i am not putting enough efforts
think i don't deserve anything
never taken seriously
just because i am different
don't think you know me
cos you don't..
and for that ....
don't judge me