My Black Garden.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

i finallly graduated!i am so happy...i had my convocation yest..at first i thought i could not go cos my instructors told me that if i go ahead with my own plans and take a leave..i will have to join another class and i will have to retake the whole safety emergency module..sigh..but with the help of josh, i was able to go...he was so sweet, he helped me to speak to my instructor again..=)
i own him a big big favour man...

after the convocation i went to Villa Bali with my SIM friends...so nice...just chilling out...nice...after that all of us went to Zouk..it was pretty fun...but after that i met some friends from NEXT...they started down-ing me with liquor..neat....sick man...the thought of it is quite sick...anyway after that i was gone...wat a night...i actually had something else in mind after zouk...but...sigh....

anyway just now i went to Esplanade with Claire Gerald and Geraldine to take pictures with our regalia...so funny...we told ourselves that we will have to act like as if we're all alone...haha...cos we were all so embarassed standing in Esplanade with the head gear and the robe and all...hahah so weird...but we all managed to breeze thru everything..took alot of pictures...and had dinner at Thai Express..heh...

i realise that sometimes there's no need to play mind games...it's just so tiring...and i came to a conclusion that people have a very negative impression of me...i dunno wat i said or do that make them come to a conclusion that i'm that kinda girl or person..it gets really upsetting at times..because i truly believe that such judgement came from the fact that there's the lack of understanding...i am coming to believe that no one actually know me very well...or basically no one wants to truly understand me deep enough...

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thoughts
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a moment ago..i just realised that i've been a real fool...i shld really learn from past experiences...and i think i never learn...i think i really need to carry a past experiences manual to everywhere i go to ...at least i can refer to it when i encounter funny incidences..

i seriously doubt people's sincerity at times..they can look u in the eye and tell u something nice...but you always wonder...are they acting?is it true?are they just making u feel good?but if u question..u will appear doubtful and rude...hmm....but i still stand by my point..and i believe that there are people out there who are just super insincere...what they say and what they do just not in-sync....

..and i wonder why certain things happen...do u always need an intention to do something?at least a motive?...i don't think so...but i do believe some people have them...that's why i become why "constipated" when i do certain things..i hold onto myself...but sometimes only when u hold onto urself, then u will see what will happen without interventions from urself...but if u don't do anything...nothing will happen...soo....shld we hold back and wait....or shld we do wateva we feel like doing without any second thoughts?i got sooo many thoughts running through my head right now... i wanna make things happen...i want things to be clearer...but i know that things do not always happen to ones liking...just live with it lor....sigh....

going going gone 10:36 PM;