My Black Garden.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

anyway today i went for Zouk's Halloween party...it's my first time at a halloween party and i was so totally amused by all the party goers...they were awesome!so many funny and weird looking creatures around.. i shall post up all these pictures soon...

anyway this afternoon i was woken up by jeremy and he asked me to accompany him to get a halloween costume..heh...so off we went to Aliwal St (No. 1 Costume Cosutme) ...it's such a cool place..it was better than Housz of Costumez at Peace Centre..it's probably like 6 times bigger !!! and they have soo much more variety!but oh well i am pleased with my female version of peter pan at Housz of Costumez...Jeremy managed to get a monster mask and a cape and his friend Zack got a cape too with a "Scream" mask...cool...soo nice..Jeremy is such a funny guy...he is always using the words like "BESTEST" and "WORLD's BEST"..kinda amuses me all the time...cos for a man his age..and using words like that..are so unlike him...hhahaa...well...but it's really nice hanging out with people like that...makes u feel very happy all the time...

really hoping to see my pictures for the Halloween soon...cos i took tons of pics with other characters...heh...=)))) hope to upload them and blog abt them...hehh....think i shld stop typing and go to sleep now... cos it's alreasy 6:22am !!!!!!!!! freak....hahaa.....

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sometimes you see yourself very differently from what others view you as
you constantly try to fit yourself into the mould that the society wants you to be
sometimes you just try too hard, you hurt yourself
why should you be bothered by how others view you?
maybe it doesn't matter at all...and if it does..how much does it worth?
but sometimes it is quite nice to find out what others think about you...even if you're probably not going to take it into consideration of changing into someone to please someone else

i realise alot recently...
firstly, that to never ever judge too fast about a person
i just met someone, much older than i am
thought he is probably someone who's looking for more than just a friend
but he turned out to be brotherly than anything else
and age isn't a true gauging factor about whether or not you can mingle well with one person

secondly, i think i am not who i used to be
just when you think you will nv ever do certain things,
i did it
just when you think you will nv say certain things,
i said it
i need to find myself

thirdly, i think i am not happy again
i don't know when it started, but it did
i am becoming more moody
i am very difficult to please
i can only please myself
no one can really please me till i allow them to do so

fourth, i don't know how to fall in love anymore
don't know if i am jaded
i don't know who is real and fake
i don't know who i want
i get disgusted with people very easily
i judge people with a more stringent eyes nowadays

going going gone 5:31 AM;