Sunday, June 10, 2007
there is no definite time...perhaps never might be the eventual answer...as i slowly put myself in the state of denial...believing is what i do best...someone just knocked some sense into me...and i felt like shit all over again...why does it have to be me?did God chose me to play a trick on me?watching good things taken away by people?watching people having the best of both worlds..yet i stand there empty?it has always been like that since 1984..i never get the best...people outwin me all the time...i stand there empty and alone...just when i thought i have everything...they slowly slither through out of the holes between my fingers...maybe happiness will never be mine...no matter how hard i try to hold onto to it...or pursue it..emptiness is slowly creeping into me again...swallowing my every being...all i want is just someone to be there for me...why do i have to earn it?some people get it all....they don't even need to work for it...
people say i am nice... i am good...what for?what good does it make?it won't change anything...nothing...it is slowly eating me away...
going going gone 4:06 AM;
